|
Dear Praying Friends,
A couple of months ago, I found myself in the Malostranský cemetery in Prague. It didn’t seem to get many visitors, at least not on cold, drizzly mornings in January. The paths, the benches, and the tombstones were covered in moss and rotting leaves. I had the place to myself, which was fine. I had a lot of things on my mind, including the words of St. Augustine: “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in You.” As you may know, my restless heart has spent some time wandering through desolate places these past few years. Wilderness is not a place of enjoyment. But it is a place of grace, often seen only in retrospect. In the thick of it, though, it is a dry and weary land, where there is no water (Psalm 63:1).
Yet something shifted one sunny afternoon in Beaune, France last June, as I walked from the train station to my hotel. I suddenly became aware of a lightness, a kind of joy, welling up inside of me; it was a sensation I’d all but forgotten! But I breathed it in, like the aroma of the first drops of rain after a long dry spell. Over the next six weeks in Europe, those “raindrops” would gather into a stream, a river, and finally a raging flood that threatened to wash the ground out from under my feet and pull me under. It was thrilling…and terrifying. When I finally landed back in the States, I was dripping wet (metaphorically) and catching my breath. A deep thirst had awakened in me that I couldn’t articulate, much less know how to quench.
But now I sat on a moldy bench in the old Prague graveyard, reflecting on the past couple weeks, and even back to my first missionary stint in Costa Rica, more than half a lifetime ago. Back then, I was starry-eyed and naïve. Serving God was going to be a grand adventure in this exotic land of rain forests, howler monkeys and gallo pinto (still my favorite breakfast food). And it was an adventure. But I learned that being a foreigner is exhausting work—especially in those first years. You feel lonely and frustrated. You don’t know how things work. You stick out like a sore thumb and often feel like a fool. People confuse you and you confuse people.
By now I was a little less naïve, and a little more seasoned—I at least had a better idea of what I was up against. I’d spent the last couple weeks investigating possible ways to serve in this part of the world. It was daunting, and the weight of it was catching up with me. Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.” The Czech Republic is as good a place as any to die, I mused, looking around at the tombstones. People have been doing it here for years! I thought of all the big and little things I would have to “die” to, if I moved here. My comfortable home. Proximity to long-time friends. A familiar city. A life-giving community. Having a Costco nearby. All the conveniences of North American life. Knowing the language. Knowing how things work. Knowing who to call when the hot water heater starts leaking or when life is falling apart (sometimes the same person). Was I ready to give it all up? I poured all these things out before God—the anxieties, longings, and fears of hopes unfulfilled. Lord, is this what you’re calling me to?
I know God sat with me on that damp bench, listening patiently to my stream of consciousness. But then after a spell He seemed to break into my chaotic thoughts. “Scott, what I’m calling you to is to live your life in Me. Sure, you could stay in Richland, with your friends, your community, your familiar life. And I’d be with you there, and have things for you to do there. As for here…I will do my work here with or without you.”
I thought about that for a moment, but the conversation in my mind continued. “But…why don’t you come with Me on this adventure, here in the Czech Republic?” I realized at that moment that I had been waiting for marching orders from my Commanding Officer; what I got instead was an invitation from my Friend.
But part of me resonated with the rich man in Luke 18, whose heart was heavy after Jesus “invited” him to leave everything behind to follow Him. So I stood on this precipice for a couple days, peering over the edge into the chasm. Below I could hear that familiar, exhilarating, terrifying torrent still roaring. Do I dare jump? Would God really be there to catch me? So many unknowns…and the knowns were frightening enough!
On my next-to-last day in the Czech Republic, I found myself at Prague Castle, in a nearly deserted café, warming up with a glass of hot ginger lemonade (the Czech answer to all winter ills). I was jotting down some of these thoughts on my phone. I knew I hadn’t yet responded to this “invitation,” but would have to eventually. As I was writing this down—wouldn’t you know—the song With or Without You by U2 started playing on the café’s music system. (“…And I’m waiting for you…With or without you…?”)
Seriously? I shook my head, smiling to myself at God’s ironic, impeccable timing. All right. (Deep breath.) Here I am. Send me. And in that moment, I felt something shift again, just like back in Beaune. The anxiety of the past months about whether I was hearing God rightly, whether this was an old fool’s errand, whether I was crazy to think I could or should do this…all that began to fall away into peaceful consolation. I finished my drink, and with fresh eyes and new resolve, I walked back down through the castle complex, past the massive St. Vitus cathedral, down the hill with the street musicians and sausage vendors, across the Charles bridge, through the crowd of gawking tourists gathered at the Astronomical Clock, past a thousand fragrant trdelnik spindle pastry stalls, the Rubber Duck Boutique, and the Sex Machines Museum, to Wenceslaus Square, down the escalator to the Můstek Metro station and on to my little studio flat on Stroupežnikého street, here in this beautiful, quirky, chaotic, fascinating, exasperating, amazing, broken city.
It had been seven months ago, to the very day, that I had first arrived in Prague and heard that bewildering “Welcome home” ring in my ears, which first set me on this journey. And now today, for the first time, I finally received that welcome home…if any place on earth can be called “home” for wandering pilgrims.
For greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city.
Amen. Let it be so!
So…what is the plan? Here’s the outline…as best as I can discern, though to the Lord belongs the final say.
* I am in the process of association with Alongside Ministries International (www.alongside.org), a mission agency that partners with local churches and ministries, principally in Europe, to advance the Gospel. Alongside has a long history with West Side Church, and I have known many in the Alongside leadership over the years.
* I am anticipating a formal invitation to work alongside the Czech Evangelical Alliance (www.ea.cz), a local ministry dedicated to networking and cooperation across denominations and ministries in the Czech Republic, sharing resources for church planting, training, and equipping people to reach this nation and beyond for Jesus Christ. There I expect my role will focus on developing multimedia and communication strategies. However, the fields are white, and the laborers are few. My role will likely include things I haven’t imagined yet.
* It is my hope, God permitting, to relocate to the Czech Republic the first part of next year (2025). This, however, depends on a number of factors, including the necessary partnership development (support raising). Other factors include a lengthy visa application process, and decisions about dispossessing my house and the lion’s share of my earthly belongings! In the meantime, I continue working with and for Main Street Church.
* My initial commitment will be for two years, the first part of which will focus on learning Czech. I’ve started with online language apps…so far I’ve learned enough to realize what a daunting task this will be. I can also say things like Matěj hledá čistou mrkev (Matthew is looking for a clean carrot) and other extremely useful phrases.
* I plan to travel to the Czech Republic this summer (July/August), to participate, together with a few others from West Side Church, at the same English Camp where we worked at last summer, as well as attend the annual Alongside Gathering in Brno (a couple hours from Prague), which happens right after the camp.
FOR YOUR PRAYERS…
- First and foremost, pray that my life be continually built up and hid in Jesus—my first and main calling.
- Please pray for all the work that needs to be done in the months ahead, as well as all the preparations for relocation; that I would be given God’s wisdom and make good use of my time and energy.
- Pray also for the Lord’s provision for my “team” of prayer and financial supporters…and while you’re at it, please pray about what ways God may be inviting you to participate on that team!
Blessings in Christ,
|
|
